A person can change and grow if they’re willing to accept their past and selves.

After nearly 25 years of being an alcoholic party burro, I became an actual father.

I stopped self-sabotaging. And lost the asshole voice in my head. Finally.

My shrink helped through this transition. So did studying Holistics/Coaching/SD for some years.

But nobody else was able to do the work for me; which now, I'd say translates primarily to accepting a bunch of shit that i was incapable of accepting before whatever shift that seemed to take place inside of me.

And taking a long look back at the past, and forgiving it fully was the key to that.

This only became an option after i became able to see the people/events/circumstances that had transpired earlier on for me in a new way--through a new scope.

All the wrongs of others, and those i committed upon myself, all that shit had to go. Then there was no one to blame. Only i was left.
This didn’t occur deeply enough to me until i was sitting in jail for a few days in late 2016. My son was 6 months old. I was still a self-destructive drunk.
I didn’t know what in the actual fuck to do, to avoid my son having the type of father that i’d had.
So i just started looking at the daily shit-show that was then my train of thought process. It seemed like the best place to start. Because a therapist i’d had introduced me to CBT-type thinking. So i’d had an introduction to the mindfulness thing. And i had been on-again/off-again with meditation since 2008, when i gor Reiki certified.
So i had some idea what to do already when i got my dumb ass thrown in the S?? for being a buzzed bozo.

decided to work at becoming more aware of my own thought process.

HOW/WHY TO FORGIVE THE FUCKERS
Only you can forgive the fools from your past. They probably essentially acted more like animals than humans; slow turning are the wheels of evolution. But if you're here, working on improving yourself, than you seem to be moving them forward. And without whatever that I'm suggesting you should learn to forgive having happened, well, you wouldn't be here. You'd probably be watching your 150th straight hour of Netflix, or doom-scrolling X.

But you've decided to aim at becoming someone who offers more to others/yourself/The World than that; or you're at least entertaining that idea - or you'd be fucking off somewhere, distracting yourself with nonsense.

Before you can become a MF Hero to anyone else, you must first become the hero of your own heart. Which means to no longer provide and foster your own deceit and tyranny; to become consistently truthful and integrous with yourself.

Our Dragon/Gold/Map course was designed with the tools/techniques/outlooks that took me from being a self-defeated jailbird father, to a Dad that continually aims to set a solid example for his son. I genuinely hope it’s useful to some MFs!!